Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
