ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
