After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
