Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
