So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
