I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
