it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
