My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
