ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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