i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
