I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
