You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Randomize
