Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
