Got a toothbrush?
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
