your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
