did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
