he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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