I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
