everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
