If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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