Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
