Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
