Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
