We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
