So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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