she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
