You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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