your thong is hanging out like whoa
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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