My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
