Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
