Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize