Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
