He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize