she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
