I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
