At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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