What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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