I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
