Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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