i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
