i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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