I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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