Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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