cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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