God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
