Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize