If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
