im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
