Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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