The maid of honor just puked.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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