we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
