Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
