do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
