would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
