i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
