just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
