Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
