so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize