Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize