nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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