he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
