I molested 6 butterflies tonight
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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