Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
